17 TIPS FOR HAVING A CHALLENGING CONVERSATION,

These tips are tried and tested and can be applied to any discussion; however they really come into their own if you need to get through a difficult or awkward conversation. 

1.     Be clear about the point that you are trying to make, think before you speak and form your argument before you present it to others.

2.     Stick to the line of argument supporting this point. 

3.     Take a constructive not destructive approach, support your own argument rather than knock down the other persons.

4.     You know the sporting adage ”play the ball not the man”?, the same logic applies here, attack the point not the person. 

5.     Speak directly, stick to the point and avoid ambiguity.

6.     Don’t try to read people’s minds, assumptions are not helpful. 

7.     Don't expect them to read yours, communicate clearly. 

8.     Don’t resort to blaming, instead look at the cause and effect.

9.     Don’t talk over the other person, allow them to finish what they are saying.

10.   Don't exploit people's weaknesses such as shyness or fear. 

11.   Don't allow them to exploit yours. 

12.   Stick to the current issue, don’t dig up things from the past.

13.   Be empathetic, try to understand the other persons point of view. 

14.  Respond don’t react, take time to think before you reply. 

15.   Set emotions to one side and argue with logic.

16.   Don’t say anything you may regret saying the day after.

17.  If you haven’t resolved it within 10 minutes, look back over this list and see which tip or tips you’ve missed!

Remember that in the adult world respect  means accepting that other people are entitled to have a different point of view.  You deserve to have your point of view respected and so do they.  Agreeing to disagree can be a  viable conclusion.   If it's a serious matter, an arbitrator may be required.