Mother’s day can be a wonderful family event, a time of gathering together to celebrate and reward the family Matriarch and give her a well-earned and all too rare rest.
However, as with all relationships, not all maternal relationships are created equal. Some can be fraught with tension and dysfunction the depth of which can only be understood from within. This means that for some people mother’s day brings with it a hollow sense of grief for the relationship that never was or is no more and a feeling of being an outsider in a world full of seemingly perfect cookie cutter families.
Often, this loss is most acutely felt when the child of the dysfunctional mother/child relationship goes on to have children of their own. Who is their role model? Who is their rock, their support person and endlessly patient confidant and advisor? Sometimes the very act of parenting their own children and having a good healthy relationship with them can highlight what they missed in their own childhood.
For the people recovering from dysfunctional relationships with their mothers, it’s important to learn to provide the nurture and love that was previously not present in their relationship with their mothers for themselves. This can take time, but it is possible. Positive affirmations can provide some comfort and increase in self-esteem. Looking in the mirror every day and saying “I love you” and “you’re enough” and “all children deserve unconditional love” can begin this process. As well as saying these words, take a moment to close your eyes and feel them, send love within to yourself and notice where you feel it in your body.
Where emotional wounds run deep, Hypnotherapy can provide the tools required to complete the healing process. There are a number of therapies which can be delivered in light trance which can guide a client towards resolution of previously unresolved emotions.
To everyone on Mother’s day, feel the love from within. You are enough and you deserve to be loved.
We seem to feel so busy all of the time these days. There’s always something we should or could be doing, whether it’s at work, around the house, with our friends, partners, kids, extended family, online or all of the above, it feels like there’s so much happening all the time.
It’s easy to get swept up in it, and try to multi task our way through life. Science has now proven that we can’t multi-task, not even super mums can! not effectively. You may be able to do several things at the same time, but you’re not doing any of them as well as you would be if you focused on one thing at a time. We’ve tricked ourselves into believing otherwise though.
Talking and listening to our kids can become part of this barely contained chaos. Our kids try to tell us about something that happened in the playground that day and we lend them half an ear while we gaze over their head at the evening news, or continue unpacking the shopping, and checking our texts or emails.
In this hurly burly existence time flies by and if we’re not careful, we may wake up one morning and realise that our kids aren’t kids any more, we’ll long to hear those playground stories and see the sticky fingerprints on the fridge door.
It’s important to pay attention. Our kids are the greatest gift we’ll ever receive. When they try to communicate and connect with us, instead of falling into the habit of treating them as filler between 10 other tasks, let’s make time to give them our full attention.
Here are some tips for active listening with kids:
Be at their eye level and look them in the eye when you’re conversing.
Listen attentively, don’t just wait for them to be finished so you can say your bit or go on about your business.
Show them that they have your attention say the odd 'uh huh', and when they finish speaking check with them that you've understood them correctly.
Discuss what they've told you. Ask them a couple of questions. You’ll be surprised just how interesting these conversations will become.
This style of discourse will make your relationship so much richer and will help your child become more confident and better able to regulate their emotions through open communication. You can demonstrate the art of speaking assertively rather than aggressively e.g. using ‘I’ statements rather than ‘you’ as in ‘I feel annoyed’ rather than ‘You made me feel annoyed”.
Making a point of having dinner at the table rather than in front of the TV will provide a fantastic opportunity for discussing the day’s events.
Knowing that they can talk to you and be heard will make it easier for your child to come to you when they are worried or anxious about something.
There’s a wonderful article on anxiety in kids at the link below.
Melbourne Hypnotherapist Georgina Mitchell was born in Ireland, moving to Australia in 1989. Georgina Specialises in helping people with Anxiety Disorders and is an active member of the Melbourne Hypnotherapy Community. In Melbourne Hypnosis is being accepted as effective tool for anyone wanting to achieve a positive change in Mood, Behaviour and Habit.
Melbourne Hypnotherapy Blog
Please note as with all therapies, Results for Therapies delivered by Hypfocus may vary from person to person