Why Hair Pulling Episodes Increase Under Stress

Hair pulling might sound odd to someone who hasn’t experienced it, but for many, it’s a quiet struggle that gets worse when life feels tense or overwhelming. Known as Trichotillomania, this behaviour can start out small—perhaps occasionally tugging at a strand or picking during moments of intense focus. But over time, this can turn into something far more distressing. The urge to pull might build without warning, often leaving behind feelings of shame, frustration or confusion.

While it’s easy to blame it on lack of control, hair pulling is usually shaped by something deeper. Stress is one of the strongest forces behind it. When tension builds, the repetitive act of pulling can become a go-to way to release emotions or feel a brief sense of calm. It can offer relief in the moment, but for many, it quickly becomes a loop they don't know how to stop.

Understanding Hair Pulling and Its Triggers

Trichotillomania isn’t just a habit—it comes with a very real emotional weight. It’s classified as a type of body-focused repetitive behaviour, and while it doesn’t get talked about as much, it’s something many people deal with behind closed doors. It often shows up in early adolescence, though it can begin at any age, and it affects people regardless of gender or background. Some pull from their scalp, others from lashes, brows or even other body hair. For some, it’s a visible act, but others might do it more discreetly, even unconsciously.

Common triggers can include:

- Emotional build-up: stress, anxiety, boredom, or frustration

- Environmental cues: mirrors, tweezers, or specific locations like the bedroom or bathroom

- States of focus or zoning out: working on a computer, watching TV, or lying in bed

Even simple changes in routine or rising tension from life events—like a difficult conversation or work pressure—can lead to an urge to pull. It can become so automatic that people might not even realise they’re doing it until they notice the damage.

Over time, the impact isn’t just physical. Hair loss can make someone feel exposed or embarrassed, causing them to withdraw socially, cover their head, or avoid certain situations altogether. The emotional toll is often heavier than people expect. It can chip away at someone’s confidence, and the cycle of pull-regret-pull again can really wear someone down.

While the behaviour is incredibly frustrating, it’s important to understand it’s not a sign of failure. It’s a coping strategy that the brain has learned, and it can be unlearned with the right support.

The Connection Between Stress and Hair Pulling

Stress doesn’t look the same for everyone, but when it ramps up, it tends to show itself in the body one way or another. Some people clench their jaw. Others bounce their legs or nibble at their nails. For those with Trichotillomania, stress can fuel the need to pull. The reason behind this has both physical and mental layers.

When the body feels under threat—whether that’s emotional overwhelm or just a packed to-do list—it shifts into survival mode, kicking off a stress response. Breathing speeds up, muscles tense, and the nervous system goes on high alert. This kind of pressure can make someone feel restless or trapped in their thoughts, and hair pulling becomes a kind of pressure valve. It’s a way to release tension, even if only for a second.

For some, the act of pulling is linked to a feeling of control. When life feels chaotic, pulling can offer a predictable response—almost like a way to reset. For others, it becomes tied to certain moments of relief. The sensation of pulling and the brief calm that comes right after can send signals to the brain that the act is useful, which reinforces the pattern.

The more often this cycle happens, the more it sticks. Stress increases the drive, the pulling happens, and the brain remembers that tiny flicker of release. It’s not a conscious choice most of the time. It’s become automatic.

One example that comes up often is during a time of big change—like starting a new job or going through a breakup. Someone might start pulling more frequently, especially during quiet moments when the mind has space to wander. It isn’t about lacking willpower. It’s about the brain searching for a way to cope.

Understanding this connection offers a starting point for change. Once someone recognises how stress supports the pattern, they can begin replacing it with better tools to manage pressure and retrain their brain to respond differently.

How Hypnotherapy Can Help Manage Hair Pulling

Hair pulling doesn’t always respond to logic. Someone may know it’s causing distress but still struggle to stop. That’s because this behaviour usually operates below conscious awareness, which is why talking alone sometimes doesn’t go deep enough. This is where hypnotherapy can come in as a useful tool for easing the cycle.

When someone is in a relaxed and focused state during hypnosis, they’re more open to addressing thoughts and emotions that influence their behaviour. The aim isn’t to erase the urge, but to work with the underlying patterns that keep it going. Hypnotherapy creates space for change by calming the nervous system and accessing the subconscious mind, where automatic responses often live.

Here are some ways hypnotherapy may support someone dealing with stress-related hair pulling:

- Strengthening emotional regulation: Instead of reaching for the behaviour in moments of overwhelm, the person begins to pause and respond differently

- Building awareness of triggers: Hypnosis can help uncover the moments, feelings or settings that often lead to pulling, even the subtle ones

- Relaxing the body’s stress response: Sessions often focus on grounding techniques that train the body to stay calmer under pressure

- Replacing the urge: Hypnosis can introduce new ways to respond—ones that don’t cause harm and still meet a similar need for comfort or control

- Supporting self-compassion: Many people feel guilt or shame about their hair pulling. Hypnotherapy gently works to reduce this, helping to build a kinder internal voice

The process is usually very personal and tailored to what someone is experiencing. A hypnotherapist trained in anxiety-based disorders can guide the client through their unique situation and work alongside them to create shifts that feel manageable and safe.

Simple Stress-Relief Habits That Support Lasting Change

While hypnotherapy addresses deeper patterns, simple everyday habits can also help create a more calm and balanced system. Think of it as preparing the ground so the deeper work has more space to hold. These small acts may seem minor, but over time, they can ease tension and make it less likely someone falls back into old habits.

Here’s a list of practices that can support stress reduction:

- Movement: Go for a short walk, stretch for five minutes, or do some light gardening. The goal isn’t intensity, it’s to move tension out of your body

- Breathing exercises: Try a few rounds of slow, belly breathing when you notice the urge to pull. Even a couple of cycles can lower stress on the spot

- Limit over-stimulation: Too much screen time or noise can fuel restlessness. Create a bit of quiet time each day with no distractions

- Routine: Build simple structure into the day. A loose rhythm can make life feel a little more predictable and less chaotic

- Mindfulness breaks: Check in with how you’re feeling at different points during the day. A quick name-it-to-tame-it moment helps reduce emotional build-up

- Soothing tools: Keep something nearby like a smooth stone, stress ball or fidget ring as a physical alternative when urges come up

It’s not about being perfect or doing all of these things every day. It’s about collecting a few small tools that support the nervous system and help the body feel a bit safer. Over time, these habits can change how stress is handled and reduce the intensity of pulling impulses.

Your Path to Recovery

Living with Trichotillomania can feel exhausting, especially when stress levels shift frequently. One day may feel entirely manageable, and the next can spiral into urges that feel impossible to control. That up-and-down rhythm can be frustrating and disheartening. But every step you take to understand what’s behind the behaviour counts—even the ones that seem small.

It’s not simply about stopping the pulling. It’s about learning to feel safer in your own body and more in charge of how you respond to stress. That often takes gentle trial and error, and support from someone who understands the patterns underneath.

Change isn’t always quick and it rarely happens in a straight line. But with the right approach and tools that fit your life, there’s a way forward that feels less like a fight and more like growth. Whether someone is at the very beginning of their awareness or further into the process, what matters most is showing up for that next step.

Explore the benefits of hypnotherapy for anxiety disorder and how it can support healthier coping strategies for managing stress and hair-pulling behaviours. At Hypfocus in Melbourne, our therapists offer thoughtful, personalised care to help you create lasting change. Reach out today and take the next step toward a calmer, more confident version of yourself.